When is it okay to have sex after giving birth? Most people can resume sex once postpartum bleeding has stopped and their bodies feel ready – often after 4–8 weeks. But there is no set date. Desire, healing, and comfort vary from person to person.

The question of sex after giving birth may be weighing on you or your potential partner. You may be wondering: When can I have sex again? Will it hurt? What if I look completely different down there? Will I ever feel like having sex again?

It could also be that the idea of ​​sex after giving birth is as far away as a city in Russia. Both are completely common.

Your body has just gone through a huge change, and your desire, comfort, and expectations may feel completely different than before. There is no one right way to resume your sex life. However, there is plenty of knowledge that can help you find your own path.

Written by journalist Simone Mervig.
The content of this article has been verified by Pernille Jessen, nurse and breastfeeding counselor behind Mamaflow

When can you have sex after giving birth?

First of all: There is no universal date on the calendar when your body says “go!” Yes, the doctor will typically ask about contraception at the 8-week checkup, but this is in no way to create pressure or expectation. The most important thing is that you notice when you feel like having sex and feel ready.

Some people want to be intimate a few weeks after giving birth, while others don't have sex until many months later - and that's all perfectly okay.

Many people choose to wait until postpartum bleeding (also called lochia) has stopped before resuming sex. This is both for comfort and to reduce the risk of infection (here, the good old-fashioned condom can also help).

If you have had a tear and stitches during childbirth, it may be a good idea to wait a few weeks until the area has healed before starting again. If you have had a cesarean section, the same principle applies: give your body time to heal. Even if there is no vaginal wound, it is still a major operation, and both your body and your desire may need extra time.

If you're still bleeding, use a condom - not only to protect against pregnancy (more on that later), but also to protect against infection.

Bottom line: You set the pace. No one else. Not even your partner.

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Why does sex feel different after giving birth?

After giving birth, your body may feel and react differently than before. One of the most common physical symptoms is vaginal dryness. This is due to a drop in estrogen levels, especially if you are breastfeeding. Lower levels of estrogen make the mucous membranes thinner and more sensitive, which can lead to a stinging or burning sensation during sex.

It has nothing to do with a lack of desire or that you are doing anything wrong. It's just simple biology.

A good, unscented, water-based lubricant can work wonders, as can patience and honest communication with your partner.

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Does sex hurt after giving birth?

Some people find that sex after giving birth feels sore or downright painful. This can be due to, among other things:

• Bruises and stitches that are still sore

• Vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes

• Scar tissue or tightness around the vaginal opening

• Muscle tension in the pelvic floor - both conscious and unconscious. The latter can happen, for example, if you unconsciously tense up to protect an area that has hurt, or because your pelvic floor has been overloaded during pregnancy and childbirth.

If you are experiencing pain, it is important not to “bite through the pain”.
Stop, take a break, try a different form of intimacy or another day. Persistent pain should be taken seriously and can often be relieved with the help of a gynecologist or a specialized physiotherapist. Please contact your doctor or mention it to your health visitor.

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Do I lack desire for sex after giving birth? And is that normal?

Let's be honest: Even if you love your partner, the desire for sex can be completely gone for a period of time. Take it from someone who has been in bed at 9pm with a milkmaid over their shoulder and only wanted to sleep.

There are many factors that come into play. Fatigue (of course), hormonal changes, overstimulation (after all, you have just created and brought a whole new human into the world) - it is also called skin saturation, and the simple fact that the body is still healing.

For some, desire returns slowly and quietly, for others it takes time and conscious attention. And that's totally, totally fine.

Remember: Intimacy isn't just about penetration. It can also be kissing, hugging, massage, watching a movie on the couch, quiet time together, or any other intimacy you both enjoy that isn't about sex. In fact, it's a really good place to start - with closeness and intimacy, eye contact, a little long hug.

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Can you get pregnant before your period returns?

Short answer: Yes.

Even if your period hasn't returned after giving birth, you can still ovulate. And ovulation happens before your first period. This means that you can, in principle, get pregnant without having had your first period yet.

It may feel a little unfair—especially if your body still feels like a chaotic renovation project that isn't necessarily going according to *plan*. But biology is quietly working in the background, even when you don't notice it.

Breastfeeding can delay ovulation because the hormone prolactin inhibits the cycle. But it's not a guarantee. Some people ovulate early, others much later. The body doesn't always follow the manual.

So if a new pregnancy is not at the top of your wish list right now, contraception is worth considering – even if your period has not yet arrived.

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Take good care of yourself - and ask if you are in doubt.

Your body is more vulnerable after giving birth, and so is your intimate environment. Here are some things you can do to take good care of yourself when (or before) you start having sex again:

• Use a condom at first to protect against infection

• Avoid perfumed products - lukewarm water is enough

• Be aware of any pain, odor, or bleeding that doesn't feel "right." If in doubt, it's better to contact your doctor one too many times than one too few times.

And let's just repeat: You can actually get pregnant before your period returns. So while it may be the furthest thing from your mind right now, birth control is worth considering if pseudo-twins aren't at the top of your wish list.

👉 Read our article about first period after giving birth here

At the 8-week check-up with your doctor, you can also talk about your sex life, any pain, scar tissue, contraception and anything else that is on your mind.

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A loving reminder

Sex after childbirth comes in many different forms. For some it feels natural and quick, for others it takes time - and everything in between is perfectly okay.

Your body has done something extraordinary. It deserves time, patience, and gentle steps back toward intimacy on your terms.

Frequently asked questions about sex after birth

When can you have sex after giving birth?

There is no set date. Many people wait until postpartum bleeding has stopped – often around 4–8 weeks – but the most important thing is that you feel ready both physically and mentally.

Is it normal for sex to hurt after giving birth?

Yes, it can be normal at first. Pain can be caused by ruptures, scar tissue, dryness or tension in the pelvic floor. If pain persists, you should talk to a doctor or physiotherapist.

Why am I dry after giving birth?

After giving birth, estrogen levels drop, especially if you're breastfeeding. This can make the mucous membranes thinner and drier. A fragrance-free, water-based lubricant can help.

Is it normal to not want sex after giving birth?

Yes. Fatigue, hormonal changes, and the big upheaval of becoming a parent can affect libido. For many, it gradually returns over time.

Can you get pregnant before your period returns?

Yes. You can ovulate before your first period comes again. Therefore, pregnancy can occur even if you have not yet had your first postpartum bleeding.

When should I contact a doctor?

If you experience persistent pain, heavy bleeding, unusual odor, or discomfort, you should contact your doctor. You deserve help and answers.

References: Sundhed.dk , Mayo Clinic - Sex after pregnancy, NHS - Sex and contraception after birth, Cleveland Clinic - What you should know about postpartum sex